Long Short Week

Kate's family came up this last weekend. Did lots of wedding work, and ran around a lot. Stress. Not saying anything bad about Kate's fam or anything, but it's all stress right now.

Then Sunday morning, my dad, Scott (sister's BF) and I hit the road to Oklahoma. I worked on a paper the entire way down and missed most the ride with my head buried in my laptop. But we finally got down there, and went fishing (which was what the whole trip was about anyway). Caught some real nice fish too. Went back and continued to write the 2nd half of my Senior Integration. However, at 10:30 that night, I finished, then had to find an internet connection in the middle of BFE Oklahoma. But I found one, finally, sat in a gas station parking lot and emailed my paper to my bud Marion and she turned in my paper. Got a 90 on it. not bad. Got a B in the class, so I'm happy.

Fishing was ridiculous. killed fish right and left. We caught roughly 140 fish in 2 days. Brought back fish fillets to eat, fish fry this friday, gonna be good stuff.

Now today is Skip Day, so no classes. Need to turn in an application though. I'm going to try to become a Para educator at the middle school down the street from my house. That way I have a job with regular, good hours, or 8:00-2:45 job. Not bad, that lets me do my intern stuff and be home in time for my wife to cook me dinner...or the other way around... depending on how good I want it to be. But that's the plan. 

I'll come up with something deep and philosophical for next week. We'll see where I get.

Bill

WHERE HAVE I BEEN???

So today I organized and updated my calendar for the end of the school year. If I was smart, I would have done that... oh... mid-January, at the latest. However, I am terrible at this kind of thing, so, I'm just now doing, after I didn't turn in two book reports, I'm incredibly behind on a lot of things, etc. So now it's there. yippee, except, now I know exactly how far behind I am. Suckville, population Me and everyone who is doing their senior paper online.

I've been increasingly unhappy with where I am currently at. I'm ready to grow up, move on, get a real job. I'm tired of these "college kid" jobs. I've got a ton of good experience from my last 3 jobs that I've held, all while in college. I learned a lot of stuff about myself, how to be a leader, how to work with people, work in terrible conditions, etc. But now I'm ready to go out, dress nice, have a legit job, work during the day, come home and be at home during the night time. I don't want to dick around all day and at 3:00 in the afternoon go work until 1:00 in the morning.

I also am just ready to be Freaking married. I have exactly 2 more months to go, and I'm dying. longest, suckiest, most stressful period of life, ever. Everything is blown out of proportion because of that. Working on the house, school coming to a close, finals, counseling, internship, work, extracurriculars, everything just goes under a microscope and is blown up so big that it physically hurts to deal with it all because it all just gets so heavy. why does time take so long?

Good word to think about: Stipend. it's just fun to say.

Bill

And it builds till crescendo

I'm listening to Death Cab, who seem to be masters of the term, the gradual building of music until it hits its peak only to crash down to an ominous silence that seems beautiful in the void, which is then replaced by the comparable beauty of the most simple of arrangements. 

indeed.

I play music almost every day. In some form or other, I play, listen, make, find. And you would think with this constant immersion into what has become such a defining entity in today's culture, I would be somewhat good at it. But...I'm not. I can play, I am, for the most part, self taught. (The dog next door is barking insatiably and I'm going to kill it, seriously, back in a minute...) Piece of crap, Bob chained my dog outside it was my freaking dog causing all the noise, what a moron dog. Well...everything I was going to say is now pointless. Nevermind.

Got to my two year anniversary dating Katelynn today. that's pretty exciting. Never dated anyone for two years straight before. Brought her flowers to work, took her out for a little dinner, watched LOST. Not a bad day. 

Do you have twitter? if not I suggest it. It is pretty much the best thing on the internet besides stumblupon.com. If you don't twitter, I suggest you look it up, it's free, and just really fun. Not that the world needs to be more connected by any means, but the micro blogging aspect is just so cool, I think. 

what a lame post, if you read this whole thing, way to go. BTW, I'm looking for a new job, I really think I hate Famous Dave's, but don't tell them that yet, I need a new job before I can quit there. Whatchagonnado?

Billy

Long Couple Days

I think I've learned more about myself in the last 2 days than I have in years. 

This getting married business is hard. Premarital counseling is so worth every bit, but it just shows you hard it's going to be. I had no idea until this last few weeks just what I was getting into, and just how much growing up and maturing I still have yet to do.

A couple of my friends got broken up with this last week. Seeing them hurting like they were was really tough. It's tough because nothing you say will make them feel better, and you know it, so you say the things that will begin the healing process and you let them know you're there for them, but it's something they have to do on their own. and that's hard.

Getting married, no matter how bad things get, how hard they are, you still have the other person there. You don't have to go through things by yourself anymore, and when you're hurting, you have someone that knows you better than anyone to lean on and rely upon. Even when they seem like the source of the problem, things will turn for the better and they'll still be there, waiting for you to forgive them. 

Which, it is a lot like Jesus. He's always there. Even when you don't want him to be, he's always right there. To lean on. To rely on. To put our trust in. And what's more, even if a marriage dissolves (which hopefully, it doesn't get that way) Christ is right there, waiting for you to fall into his arms, to look to him for help.

hmm. also, although in syndication and I've seen every episode, That 70's show is real dang funny.

Billy

'Cause it's almost over now, almost over now

So, another week or so has gone by. We worked all weekend on the basement, got all the sheetrock up, completely screwed in etc. All of it. looks really crazy now, it's a completely different basement. Then we cleaned up the other side of the basement, and rearranged Christine's room for her, so that it is now way easier for her to move around n' such. 

I also got money from my dad to pay for Dakota's balls to be removed. poor guy. I don't know about the whole process. The vet says he won't miss them, that he'll be calmer and it's not a big deal for this stuff to be done. But it is. I don't know why I care so much. I just feel bad for him. 

Baseball season started today. With a seriously bad case of senioritis, I might as well drop out now, my motivation is destroyed from this moment on.

It's scary. I'm almost done with school. My new home is almost finished. Marriage is right around the corner. And...well...it's scary. I'm almost a grown up, and I don't really know what I'm doing, to be completely honest. I'm 22. I'm engaged. I own a house, I will have to start working full time. whoa. Is it too late to disappear and run away to Europe? 

I guess it's just time to buck up, grow up, man up, etc. This is one of those moments where I look God face to face and say "that's it, I'm done stalling, I have no idea what I'm doing, I need your help from here on out. Oh, and don't be vague when you tell me stuff, I'm kinda dumb when it comes to subtleties, so a good smack in the face might just benefit all involved. Oh, and help me not to screw this up too bad." I guess there comes a few times in life where a prayer like that needs to be said, and I'm smack dab in the middle of one.

BMo