WHERE HAVE I BEEN???

So today I organized and updated my calendar for the end of the school year. If I was smart, I would have done that... oh... mid-January, at the latest. However, I am terrible at this kind of thing, so, I'm just now doing, after I didn't turn in two book reports, I'm incredibly behind on a lot of things, etc. So now it's there. yippee, except, now I know exactly how far behind I am. Suckville, population Me and everyone who is doing their senior paper online.

I've been increasingly unhappy with where I am currently at. I'm ready to grow up, move on, get a real job. I'm tired of these "college kid" jobs. I've got a ton of good experience from my last 3 jobs that I've held, all while in college. I learned a lot of stuff about myself, how to be a leader, how to work with people, work in terrible conditions, etc. But now I'm ready to go out, dress nice, have a legit job, work during the day, come home and be at home during the night time. I don't want to dick around all day and at 3:00 in the afternoon go work until 1:00 in the morning.

I also am just ready to be Freaking married. I have exactly 2 more months to go, and I'm dying. longest, suckiest, most stressful period of life, ever. Everything is blown out of proportion because of that. Working on the house, school coming to a close, finals, counseling, internship, work, extracurriculars, everything just goes under a microscope and is blown up so big that it physically hurts to deal with it all because it all just gets so heavy. why does time take so long?

Good word to think about: Stipend. it's just fun to say.

Bill

And it builds till crescendo

I'm listening to Death Cab, who seem to be masters of the term, the gradual building of music until it hits its peak only to crash down to an ominous silence that seems beautiful in the void, which is then replaced by the comparable beauty of the most simple of arrangements. 

indeed.

I play music almost every day. In some form or other, I play, listen, make, find. And you would think with this constant immersion into what has become such a defining entity in today's culture, I would be somewhat good at it. But...I'm not. I can play, I am, for the most part, self taught. (The dog next door is barking insatiably and I'm going to kill it, seriously, back in a minute...) Piece of crap, Bob chained my dog outside it was my freaking dog causing all the noise, what a moron dog. Well...everything I was going to say is now pointless. Nevermind.

Got to my two year anniversary dating Katelynn today. that's pretty exciting. Never dated anyone for two years straight before. Brought her flowers to work, took her out for a little dinner, watched LOST. Not a bad day. 

Do you have twitter? if not I suggest it. It is pretty much the best thing on the internet besides stumblupon.com. If you don't twitter, I suggest you look it up, it's free, and just really fun. Not that the world needs to be more connected by any means, but the micro blogging aspect is just so cool, I think. 

what a lame post, if you read this whole thing, way to go. BTW, I'm looking for a new job, I really think I hate Famous Dave's, but don't tell them that yet, I need a new job before I can quit there. Whatchagonnado?

Billy

Long Couple Days

I think I've learned more about myself in the last 2 days than I have in years. 

This getting married business is hard. Premarital counseling is so worth every bit, but it just shows you hard it's going to be. I had no idea until this last few weeks just what I was getting into, and just how much growing up and maturing I still have yet to do.

A couple of my friends got broken up with this last week. Seeing them hurting like they were was really tough. It's tough because nothing you say will make them feel better, and you know it, so you say the things that will begin the healing process and you let them know you're there for them, but it's something they have to do on their own. and that's hard.

Getting married, no matter how bad things get, how hard they are, you still have the other person there. You don't have to go through things by yourself anymore, and when you're hurting, you have someone that knows you better than anyone to lean on and rely upon. Even when they seem like the source of the problem, things will turn for the better and they'll still be there, waiting for you to forgive them. 

Which, it is a lot like Jesus. He's always there. Even when you don't want him to be, he's always right there. To lean on. To rely on. To put our trust in. And what's more, even if a marriage dissolves (which hopefully, it doesn't get that way) Christ is right there, waiting for you to fall into his arms, to look to him for help.

hmm. also, although in syndication and I've seen every episode, That 70's show is real dang funny.

Billy

'Cause it's almost over now, almost over now

So, another week or so has gone by. We worked all weekend on the basement, got all the sheetrock up, completely screwed in etc. All of it. looks really crazy now, it's a completely different basement. Then we cleaned up the other side of the basement, and rearranged Christine's room for her, so that it is now way easier for her to move around n' such. 

I also got money from my dad to pay for Dakota's balls to be removed. poor guy. I don't know about the whole process. The vet says he won't miss them, that he'll be calmer and it's not a big deal for this stuff to be done. But it is. I don't know why I care so much. I just feel bad for him. 

Baseball season started today. With a seriously bad case of senioritis, I might as well drop out now, my motivation is destroyed from this moment on.

It's scary. I'm almost done with school. My new home is almost finished. Marriage is right around the corner. And...well...it's scary. I'm almost a grown up, and I don't really know what I'm doing, to be completely honest. I'm 22. I'm engaged. I own a house, I will have to start working full time. whoa. Is it too late to disappear and run away to Europe? 

I guess it's just time to buck up, grow up, man up, etc. This is one of those moments where I look God face to face and say "that's it, I'm done stalling, I have no idea what I'm doing, I need your help from here on out. Oh, and don't be vague when you tell me stuff, I'm kinda dumb when it comes to subtleties, so a good smack in the face might just benefit all involved. Oh, and help me not to screw this up too bad." I guess there comes a few times in life where a prayer like that needs to be said, and I'm smack dab in the middle of one.

BMo

Beyond Our Reach

Finite: having bounds, limited. We focus on the things that are right in front of our noses, but we rarely look beyond our own existence. Our spiritual peripherals are so limited that we miss so much of what is going on around us. We miss the greater, more awesome picture. When it comes to God, we miss the bigger picture. There is so much more to discover, and so much to Him that even if we spend our entire lives trying to discover everything we could, it would be a drop in the bucket. Which is an awesome thing to think about.

I'm getting married. The rest of my life will be spent in the study of a woman. Who she is, what makes her tick, and what she is all about. And lucky me, she's the kind of woman that makes me thank God every day that I have that opportunity.

There is a sense of amazement and wonderment that entitles things we do not know. Things that are beyond our limited experience and understanding instill a sense of awe that is so exhilarating that we can't wait to seek it out, discover more of it, and soak it up as much as physically possible. 

This kid is hearing for the very first time in his life. This picture depicts exactly what true expansion of finite to the seemingly infinite looks like. I crave and yearn to experience something like this boy, who's world from this moment on was completely transformed to something more wonderful than he could have ever imagined.

Billy

Spring Break 'n Such

Saturday: Went to KC, tried to Non-Rev on a plane to New Mexico to get to AZ. Didn't make it. Ate pizza and such with the rents.

Sunday: Woke up at 5:00 A.M. and had Mom and Dad drive Kate and I to the airport yet again. This time got on a flight to Las Angeles. Really cool. Never been there before. So after my awesome sight seeing adventures in LA (it's just like in Enterage, so cool) which lasted about 20 minutes and consisted of just one wing of LAX, we jumped on another plane, this time to Phoenix. Got in, picked up by Kate's mom Maggie, and enjoyed a nice, relaxed afternoon. Ate at Tagliani's. Italian. Real real good food.

Monday: don't really remember much. hung out. ran around. I think this was the day we went shopping. Got a new pair of jeans. I had always hated Levi's when I was a kid, cause that's what my dad wore and he looked like a geek. But I finally found my number (who knew) and I have a pretty nice pair of jeans that I think fit pretty well. Kate got shoes. Hilarious.

Tuesday: We went to a hockey game with Kai. Tons of fights, 3 goals in the first, 1 in the second, and 3 in the 3rd. And both teams got real pissed at each other, hence the tons of fights. Plus the "Yotes" won with 30 seconds left on the clock. really cool.

Wednesday: We got to go to...gasp...the Royals. Pretty much the highlight of the last 5 1/2 months. Oops. I got engaged in there somewhere. If she reads this and I didn't say that, she'd rip me apart. Anywho, there you go. They lost but who's not used to that, I still got to see them!!!

Thursday: Hung out and ate lunch with Marion and Melyssa. Friends. that was fun. Now we're just chillin out. Get to go to Pei Wei for dinner tonight. Then we get to hang out w/ Lindsay and some people...I think. don't quote me on that. Anywho, should be fun.

Friday: sit on a plane, all day. boooooooooooooooo. Plus I lose 2 hours of my life that I will never ever get back. because that's the difference between LA and Kansas. But hey, get to go home. be normal again, play some video games, eat red meat, and see my roommate and my dog, both of whom I miss. And that's about it. yay.

Bill

Whoa, It's been a while

wow, way too long. very sorry. I'm sure you're tired of seeing the same 3 lame pictures on this page huh? well. Lets see where I've been in the last month:

• Finished Senior Paper (yay for me and everyone else who did it, lots of work, but learned a ton, which is essential and very good)
• Went to first official Marriage Counseling Session. Dr. Delort was great, had some fun, found out some stuff we didn't know/realize, more excited to get married... I think.
• Woke up late for church on daylight savings. go figure
• Booked flights and rooms in Key West, Florida for the honey moon. After many fights and arguments, and much debate, we found the perfect place to go. 
• Found out we're going to get to go to AZ for Spring Break. Super great. Go watch some baseball, eat some good sushi, and hang out w/ some folks (in-laws etc.)
• Lots of construction on the basement, i.e. all the walls are down, rebuilt, new electrical and plumbing throughout, this weekend we're putting up sheetrock.
• Went to an all day Marriage Seminar w/ Jenna and Joel. That was super fun actually. Got to go back to Northland, see some really great people, have them finally meet Kate. That was good.

I think that's about it. I don't know. that's all the important stuff anyway. If you want to see my pictures from the Senior Paper, I made a movie and a photo album that are pretty fun, so check em out. Alright, I'm supposed to be paying attention in class right now. So I'll take off. My next post will be from beautiful, expensive, and sandy Arizona. Have a good one till then.

B-leezy